Tips for Wives - Listen Well

Listening takes time but it yields wonderful dividends when it comes to the marriage relationship (or any relationship for that matter).



...watching a couple talk (from a distance).  They were constantly interrupting each other. Neither of them felt heard and as a result neither was willing to listen. It was a very sad cycle. 

The moral of this story is that, in difficult situations, someone has to start listening.  I'm asking y'all to be the first to listen. I know it is not easy when you feel unheard or misunderstood, but if you can listen, you may be able to start a new and better trend.  When your husband feels heard, he will be more likely to listen and then you have the beginning of communication.

If you usually communicate well, it never hurts to practice the skill of listening, perhaps ask a few questions.  Listening deeply says you care about him and you want to hear his heart.

To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well. 

John Marshall

Be generous!  Lori

Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips for Wives - Plan

Traditions are the stuff that memories are made of.  Let's make some good ones.




How are your dating plans coming along? One thing that is a bit fun is to start a tradition. It might be sharing a meal at a certain restaurant, exchanging love letters or dancing to "your" song.

Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart. 

Author Unknown

Blessings, Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips for Wives - Tetrazini

This tip is an excellent way to help ourselves in busy times and also make sure our hubbies are fed.


Fix up several servings of his favorite foods and put them in the freezer. Then when you're sick, busy, or out and about, he can easily fix up his favorite foods.

Kindness is the oil that takes the friction out of life. 

Author Unknown

Be generous! Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips for Wives - Your Opinion Please

Asking our husband's opinions speaks volumes about how much we value them.


Ask your husband to help you find a new blouse (or other article of clothing). One, he'll appreciate having his likes taken into account and, two, he'll appreciate it when you wear the blouse on dates or other just-for-the-two-of-you times. If he's not a shopper at all (some men shudder at the thought of shopping malls), ask your husband for pre-shopping input, such as what color he thinks you would look good in or if he likes a given style. Even if he doesn't have a particularly articulate answer, you have asked and valued his opinion about something that you wear. Be sure to model the new garment and give him a chance to enjoy the view.

Happy opinions are the wine of the heart. 

Leigh Hunt

Be generous! Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips for Wives - Encourage Him

This tip speaks the love language - Words of Affirmation.


Ask your husband, "What do I do or say that encourages you the most?"

Therefore encourage one another and build up one another ... 

1 Thessalonians 5:11a NAS

Be generous! Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips for Wives - Plan A Special Delivery

If your husband's love language is Gifts then this tip will go right to his heart.


Have a gift delivered to your husband. It can be candies, a personal gift, or even flowers (some guys really do like flowers). You can use a professional delivery service or have a friend do the delivery.

May no gift be too small to give, nor too simple to receive, which is wrapped in thoughtfulness, and tied with love. L.O. Baird

Be generous! Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips for Wives - A Hug and A Prayer

That's so neat what Lori's husband does. Read on. It's a wonderful example.


My(Lori) husband grabs me for a hug and a prayer whenever he senses that I(Lori) am getting a bit stressed. It's nice that he is aware of me and it's a great encouragement to know that he wants to pray for me. I've been trying to do the same for him and it's really become an exercise in awareness and intentionality.

I encourage y'all to do similarly. Keep an eye on your husband and hug and pray as it seems appropriate.

A hug is two hearts wrapped in arms.

Author Unknown

Be generous! Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips for Wives - Continue To Grow and Learn

Excellent recommendations by Lori today. These books are definitely on my wish list.

I'm a big one for continuing education. I think it's very important to continue to grow and learn. If you stop learning, you tend to loose ground. So, consider reading a good book about married sexuality (if your husband is willing, read it with him). Sheet Music by Dr. Kevin Leman is at the top of my list of books to recommend. Intimate Issues and Intimacy Ignited by Dillow and Pintus are also good.

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. 

Flora Whittermore

Be generous! Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips for Wives - Find Common Ground

Couple time is very important.






 The book shown here has some simple and wonderful ideas.  Depending on whether you get it used or new, the price ranges from one cent to $2.95.  Now onto today's tip.






Take a piece of scratch paper and write down as many things as you can think of that you and your husband have in common. Do you like the same kinds of food? Common interests or hobbies? Do you both like travel or quiet nights at home? Do you like movies, reading, or tennis?

Plan some couple time around what you both like. (If you can't think of much, then consider trying something new in hopes of finding additional areas of common interest.)

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives... 

Annie Dillard

Be generous!
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips for Wives - Coupon Fun

Sheila Wray Gregoire has some free coupons on her site that you can use for this tip. Click here to get Sheila's free love coupons.  And while you're there check out all the wonderful articles she's written on marriage.  We should never stop learning.  It is when we learn and do that we grow.  Continue reading for today's tip then check out Sheila's coupons and site.


Coupons are a good way of blessing your husband. I(Lori) have written several tips about them over the years, but one of my(Lori) favorite uses is the "monthly coupon book." (You could, of course, do weekly coupons or whatever works for you.) The idea is that it creates a certain amount of anticipation. This month he get "this" and next month he gets "that" and he can't wait until July because "that's" something he really likes. The other up side to this is that you have planning time.

Looking forward to things is half the pleasure of them. 

Lucy Maud Montgomery

Be generous! Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips for Wives - Buttons

You bet they do notice! Enjoy this tip ladies.


When it's just going to be an evening (or a day) at home with your husband, unbutton your blouse one more than usual or go braless (yes, men do notice).

Your two breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle, which feed among the lilies. 

Song of Songs 4:5 NAS

Be generous! Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips for Wives - Sticky Notes

Nice! In this world where many are discouraged we should seek to be an encourager to our husbands. This tip is a nice way to do it.



...leave a sticky note message for your husband as a little encouragement.

Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting, So ... get on your way!
Dr. Suess

Be generous! Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips for Wives - Speak His Language

I've spoken about love languages several times. If you still don't know what it's all about visit the Five Love Languages Site here or purchase the book from Amazon using the links below. They also have the Five Love Languages of Children, Singles and Men as shown below.

Now onto today's tip.


...give some thought to love languages (acts of service, words of affirmation, gifts, touch, quality time) when you are planning on how to bless your husband. Some guys melt when you give them a gift. Others don't much care much about gifts and would rather have a love letter or just get away for coffee.

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. 

Pearl Bailey

Be generous! Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips for Wives - Restful sleep and dreams

What a wonderful way to demonstrate love.


...Pray that your husband will have restful sleep and that God will speak to him in his dreams.

To sleep: perchance to dream ... 

William Shakespeare

Be generous! Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips for Wives - Ready, Set, Go

Fun, fun, fun! This one is great!






One fun activity you can do with your husband is to give him a timed challenge. Let him know that he has [whatever amount of time] to do [whatever bedroom activity]. Flip a kitchen timer to the allotted amount of time, put an alluring (and slightly challenging) smile on your face, and then be as helpful or as challenging as seems appropriate.

Accept the challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory. 

General George S. Patton

Be generous! Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips for Wives - 10 Dreams

What a great idea.



Write down five things that you would like to do during your lifetime. Ask your husband to do the same and then share with each other. What can you do to help each other make those dreams come true?

A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams.

Author Unknown

Be generous! Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips for Wives - Questions

Lori's tip today is so on point.  Questions are a great intimacy builder and let's the other person know you care enough to ask.




One thing I love to do is ask questions. It's fun to watch people pause and then reflect what is in their hearts or minds. I learn a lot that way. I think also it's kind of an encouraging thing, like I really care about them and what they feel/think.

One of my favorite people to question is my husband. I like to know what's going on in his head and what he thinks about different things. It's a pretty nice intimacy builder as well.

Why not ask your husband a question or two. Make sure that it's a good time to talk and ask away. Perhaps even make a game of it over dinner or in those quiet moments in bed.

Questions show the mind's range, and answers, its sublety. 

Joseph Joubert

Be generous! Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips for Wives - Pretty Wear

Who wants a drabby looking wife? I did this exercise a month or so ago and I feel so much better having gotten rid of stuff that I don't wear anymore.

As a tip, why not go through your clothes. Get rid of things you aren't wearing any more and look at the condition of the rest. Press a collar or two, mend a tear and do a bit of shopping as needed. Looking pretty is good for the self image and for our sweet husbands.

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.
James H. Boren

Blessings, Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips For Wives - Very Important Person

This tip is so cool. What man wouldn't want to be treated like this. Better he get it at home than have to find it elsewhere ladies. Let's do this often.


...As an idea, consider your husband as your own personal VIP. What little kindnesses and helps can you offer? (Leave a little gift on his pillow. Hand him a warm towel when he steps out of the shower. Have his favorite snacks on hand.)

It doesn't require a special day to express how much I love you ...

Author Unknown

Be generous! Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com

Tips For Wives - Friends

My husband and I were friends for many years until the Lord revealed that we were to be married. Our friendship continues to blossom making our marriage richer than if we were not friends.



Ask God to grow the friendship part of your marriage. I've always thought that husband and wife should be best friends, able to share their deepest hurts, their greatest longings and their silliest, but most wonderful dreams.

This is my beloved, and this is my friend ... 

Song of Songs 5:16 NKJV

Be generous! Lori
Copyright © 2001-2009 Lori J. Byerly
All Rights Reserved
http://www.the-generous-wife.com